​I am a nuclear astrophysicist who studies how nuclear reactions inside stars produce the chemical elements that make up our bodies, the world around us, and all the other stars and planetary systems in the Universe. I still wonder today… after 35 years… how did I get here? As a little girl, I wanted to be a ballet dancer! 
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I studied at the University of Torino, my hometown in Italy, and chose physics simply because my mother is a physicist and she suggested I give it a try. I was very undecided, then I thought I could become a high-school teacher, like my mother.
After a difficult, very slow start, I began to receive top marks and, in the end, I graduated cum laude.  Really, one should never take oneself for granted. The fact that I love physics and I am good at it was a big surprise! This sparked the motivation and interest that still feed my enthusiasm today. 

I learnt many different skills along the way

Studying for my PhD in Melbourne at Monash University, I was able to learn English fluently and start working in different teams. During my first post-doc in Cambridge, I could pursue my own research and realised that I wanted to keep doing independent research. So I started applying for funding grants. Moving to Utrecht with a fellowship, I learned that doing independent research actually involves lots of practical responsibilities, such as delivering results, reporting progress, managing time, etc. On returning to Melbourne with fellowships and eventually a lectureship position, I found myself, for the first time, not only covering personal expenses but also managing research funds.  This experience taught me that financial management is also a crucial skill for a scientist. Later, thanks to moving to Budapest with a major grant, I could lead a research group for the first time! I was then promoted to a permanent position and had more opportunities to apply for additional grants to support my work. I quickly learned that being a group leader involves a lot more management than I expected, of both time and people.

What worked for me

First of all, not identifying myself as a scientist from the beginning has been, perhaps surprisingly, very helpful. I have never been personally attached to an image of myself as a scientist, which means that I also considered other options in case the job market or the funding opportunities would not work out. This gave me the excitement of applying but spared me from excessive anxiety. I always thought I could become, for example, a high-school teacher, and that could be equally fun. After organizing many conferences, I also thought I could be an event organizer. 

Moreover, I developed humility, which, for scientists, I think is like a superpower. It makes it easier to accept and learn from mistakes, failures, and bad referee reports! I like a quote from Margot Fonteyn, who defined the image of the ballerina for most of the 20th century, “The one important thing I have learned over the years is the difference between taking one's work seriously and taking one’s self seriously. The first is imperative and the second is disastrous.” This perspective also allowed me to try the hardest challenges for the fun of it, not for the final achievement. This sounds counterintuitive, but for me it worked.

I felt quite free to dare to be ambitious and strategic in my objectives by, for example, thinking, how can I contribute to science as a whole? How can I help answer the big questions? Part of this strategy has been networking with people and becoming part of collaborations, which I also genuinely enjoy from the human social side. I built up and advertised my image/brand – I know this might sound awful to some, but, for example, referees and potential employers need to be able to find your website, and if they do not already know you, it is important to clearly present your achievements. It’s just providing information - not being pretentious.

On the “publish or perish” question, again, it sounds awful… but our work is a service to the community: other people cannot progress if they do not see your step forward printed in a publication. To build an outstanding publication record, both types of first-author and collaborative papers help.

On Family and Work: Just going for it, if one wants, is possible! But discussing a clear plan with one’s partner is crucial, and to work on this as a team, if both parents want to keep working (see my previous piece on the blog regarding this here). As I was pregnant with my first baby, my officemate told me, “Having children is going to destroy your publication record!”. From my experience, this is only partially true: during each of my four maternity leave periods, my publication record indeed decreased, but that did not stop me from going back to being productive once back in the office, also thanks to the practical tips below. 

TIP1: Organising conferences is one of the best ways to get people to know your name!
TIP2: Getting used to the idea from the start that one of the main tasks for a scientist is writing (do an academic writing course), as well as reading a lot.
TIP3: Setting finishing papers always as a priority, and in the order of how close they are to publication: so, to be 1) proofread, 2) revised, and 3) submitted
TIP4: Invite people to be coauthors even if they made a very small contribution! Better to be inclusive than forget (or offend!) anyone. And then they may invite you to their papers, too.

In practice, having the freedom to take up challenges both at work and in personal life worked for me. I believe this freedom also helped to avoid judging myself too strongly as a scientist and being open to possibilities and opportunities.

Many scientists desire to have children but fear that this will hamper achieving their personal career goals. As in my experience it can be quite the opposite, I decided to share some thoughts about having children as a scientist, and how to manage and enjoy it.

"Macroscopic" management
The big decisions, let’s call them macroscopic, are mainly related to how we, as parents, will manage the general structure of our and our children’s lives. Sometimes one parent will decide to be the main carer and take a relatively long break from work (in my case, this was my husband); other times either or both parents will wish to take shorter leaves and keep working. In any case, I think that the best way to manage a family is to share responsibility equally as much as possible. For example, a primary carer needs to be able to, with the help of the other parent, take a decent amount of time off in the evenings and weekends to pursue their own interests. If both parents return to work, a good option, if allowed, is for both to obtain a part-time (e.g., 4 days/week) work contract, then they could each cover one weekday looking after the children. The other, e.g., 3 days will need extra resources, a relative, a creche (daycare center), a babysitter, or a mix of these. While the family budget needs to be carefully evaluated to find the best possible scenarios, I would not worry about a baby having different places and people to relate to, even when very young. Children are very resilient and different relationships are enriching, if the parents do not stress too much about them and also spend time with their children. 

"Microscopic" management
Parents also have to deal with a huge amount of what I’ll call microscopic caring, from getting kids ready for school in the morning to bedtime routines in the evening, the occasional illnesses, etc. In my opinion and experience, also these constant chores are better structured to be shared as equally as possible between the parents and, crucially, independently. This means that when it is one parent’s turn, for example, to get the kids ready for school, the other parent does not interfere. This way everyone can perform the chores in their own way, with no judgement and hopefully with trust, and avoid wasting time discussing details, or doing and undoing the same task. In my family, we learned this right from the start: with our first baby, we both got up at night to feed and change the baby. The result was we were both exhausted all the time. Soon, we moved to a better structure: I got up all night whatever happened, but from about 6am onwards my husband dealt with almost everything. This way we could both get some decent hours of sleep because it is easier for me to get back to sleep at night, but I hate getting up early in the morning, while for my husband it is the opposite. This is just an example, and clearly every situation and every family are different. The real challenge is to find creative solutions that work well and change them if needed. In the end, we raised 4 kids, with my career interrupted for four separate leaves over 12 years: 3 months paid leave for the birth of the first child in the UK, 6 months in-between jobs for the birth of the second child in Italy (we saved for that and spent time with family); 3 months paid leave for the birth of the twins in Australia; and then 6 months in-between jobs to travel (camping!) around Australia with the family, before moving back to Europe. A few years later also my husband went back to work, after spending about 15 years as the primary carer.

Full enjoyment
Even if working full time, I was there with the children as much as I could, which forced me to become very efficient at work. One may fear that using any spare moment, including every evening and every weekend, to be with the children may not allow enough time and energy for work, and therefore hamper career prospects. However, I found this to actually be quite the opposite. In fact, the good news is that parenting is not only enjoyable but can be good for the brain! This happens when parents pay full attention to their children and are fully present with them, rather than having their minds elsewhere, for example, on work. To be fully present allows the brain to completely rest, which, in turn, promotes creativity and prevents burnout. Newton formulated gravity under a tree, “It was occasion’d by the fall of an apple, as he sat in contemplative mood” and who has not experienced the best ideas and solutions popping up in the mind while not thinking about them, or after a rest? Overall, such attitudes can help to reduce worries about the impact of parenting on work and promote less anxiety and more enjoyment both at work and at home.