How to survive a Christmas dinner (as a researcher)

by Lucas Garrido

Ah, white Christmas - a time for joy, laughter, and the inevitable barrage of questions from family members as you try to get the food in your mouth. How to reply properly, without boring or overwhelming those who crave answers? If you're worried about surviving a family dinner with endless questions and feel the pressure of being in the spotlight, you've come to the right place. Here's a quick guide on how to survive a holiday feast (based on my experience).

Facing the unavoidable
Be prepared. Relatives are often proud, curious, and perplexed to have a scientist in the family. And they won't waste an opportunity like this to bombard you with question after question. After the classical "Have you got a partner yet?", science starts.

So what exactly do you do?
The easiest answer is to give the title of your thesis or your research line. Don't do that. No one is going to understand that technical jargon. Instead, try to explain it in simple terms, like "I study how stars explode and create the elements that make up everything, including you, me, and Aunt Angela's turkey". At this point, if the others have yet to get up and leave, the conversation will flow on its own by answering their questions, as they want to know more about your field. Remember to keep it simple but engaging, grandma and little cousin also want to learn.

Cool, but do aliens exist?
It may be a joke question, but I like to flip it around and start a discussion. It's a great chance to explain how big the universe is and to think about the probability of not being alone in the cosmos. Isn't it great to turn a joke into a philosophical reflection that leaves everyone's jaws dropping?

Can you fix my phone?
No. But have you tried turning it off and on again?

Controversial questions
At some point, polemic questions may arise. Whether it is about global warming, nuclear power, or other hot-button topics, expect lively debates. These discussions can be tricky, especially when you’re surrounded by relatives with strong opinions. But don’t panic! This is your chance to steer the conversation in a productive direction. This is how I deal with this:

Stay calm and respectful
I know it's as easy to say as to get caught up in the heat of the moment. Responding calmly will reduce the chances of the dinner ending with a pile of broken dishes and barricade-like tables. Remember, the goal is not to “win” the argument but to share knowledge so that others can form their own opinion.

Be prepared for misinformation
Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon to encounter relatives who believe in conspiracy theories. In my case, it’s the “there’s no such thing as climate change” brother-in-law. Then, you can refer to the overall scientific agreement and explain how it is measured, citing data or events to which it can be related, such as extreme weather patterns.

Know when to give up
Sometimes people do not listen to any arguments other than their own and the debate may get too heated. If you feel that the conversation is starting to get into a loop, it’s perfectly fine to step away or change the subject. Don’t be afraid to say “I don't think we'll ever be able to agree”. Guess we'll talk about football now.

Embrace the science lover
There's always that one cousin or niece who is genuinely interested in scientific news. If you don't like being in the limelight, retreat to a corner and enjoy solo conversations and discussions with them. Share your knowledge and passion and, who knows, you may end up inspiring a future scientist!

Source: AI-generated

The Escape Plan
If you feel overwhelmed or have been talking about work too much, it may be time to slip away. You can start with a quick trip to the restroom and stop in the kitchen on your way back. I like to help with food or refill dishes and drinks to disconnect and make some time. If you are fed up with science, bring some gossip back to the table. They love it!

Conclusion
Sometimes, questions don’t make sense or don’t relate at all to what we do. Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know”. At the end of the day, we are human. Ordinary people. We are much more than our job and, while I’m very proud of what I’ve achieved professionally, I don’t want to be defined by just that. I have a lot more to offer in other aspects!

After all, surviving a holiday dinner is all about balancing the scientific with the social, the complex with the simple. If you think about it, it is the same kind of balance we carry out in our daily lives as researchers, so we have been training for this for years!

My final thought is that, in some way, family is just like our universe: varied, full of stars, each one shining in its own way. Even when we find ourselves surrounded by darkness, they are all a source of light and warmth during these cold holidays. Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

Source: AI-generated